One Golden Thread at a Time : How Motherhood Abroad Broke Me Open
One Golden Thread at a Time: How Motherhood Abroad Broke Me Open
Today marks three years since we landed in the Netherlands. Three years ago, we packed our bags and went straight into the unknown. Looking back, if I had known then what I know now, I’m not sure I would’ve had the guts to take such a massive leap. Our daughter was just nine months old when we arrived. I was still learning to be a mother — and suddenly, I was stepping into an entirely new role: being a mother (and wife) in a foreign country.
I’ll never forget the moment it hit me. Exactly one month after we arrived, the novelty wore off. The dust settled — and I was just here. In a strange place. Raising my baby. Alone. The loneliness was crushing, and I felt my spirit break. I remember asking my mother-in-law, who visited three months later, to bring a suitcase full of my favourite snacks and toiletries with her — clinging to anything that felt familiar and safe.
What we didn’t know then was just how much this move would stretch, challenge, and ultimately change us, how it would reshape our relationships with family back home, and how it would test our marriage. How deeply lonely it can be when you’re building a life without the familiarity you always counted on. Immigration isn’t a neat before-and-after story. It’s a thousand tiny moments: missing birthdays back home, celebrating new traditions here, laughing through misunderstandings, and slowly stitching a new life together — a messy weave of past and present.
People kept telling me, “Give it a year or two, and you’ll feel integrated.” But even now, it hasn’t fully happened for me. I’m still navigating — and I’ve learned it’s not a one-size-fits-all journey. But I’ve decided to see this life as a piece of embroidery. If I can just stitch one golden thread every day — one small, beautiful moment — then over time, I’ll have something extraordinary.
Weaving golden threads. Stitching myself back together. Growth.
That’s where Expat Mama Club was born — from a deep longing for connection in the moments when it felt like no one else could quite understand. Unless you’re living it, you can’t fully grasp the beauty and the brutal loneliness of motherhood far from home.
There were so many moments where I thought,
I can’t be the only one feeling this way.
Surviving, but not thriving. Holding it together, but feeling so alone. Becoming a mother abroad stripped away all the safety nets I thought I would always have — family nearby, lifelong friendships, and a familiar culture. The life I once recognised has now gone. It’s raw. It’s humbling. And somehow, it’s also more beautiful than I ever could have imagined!
Expat Mama Club is a space for real talk. About the loneliness, the identity shifts, the hard days, the dark days. But also about the tiny victories, the slivers of sunshine, and the everyday magic of raising children in a place that once felt so foreign.
If you’ve ever felt a little lost between two worlds… If you’re still figuring it out, one messy, beautiful day at a time —
You belong here!
Expat Mama Club isn’t just a blog.
It’s a gathering place.
A village for mothers building new lives, one golden thread at a time.